whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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