Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
