And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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