You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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