i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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