shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
