flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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