Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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