I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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