Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize