Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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