I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
