Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
