I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
