the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
