can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
