their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
