He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
time to smoke my breakfast
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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