would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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