Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
