I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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