We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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