i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
