You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
