My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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