he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
