can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
