you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
