The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize