Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
