Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
