needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize