OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
