he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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