But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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