I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
