We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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