Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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