Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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