if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize