the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
