How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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