We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
bring money and cleavage
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We left an ass print on the piano.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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