How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
