This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
