Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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