Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
