I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
