So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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