had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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