We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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