you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
