You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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