at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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