Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
