Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
